Wednesday, June 04, 2014


This will be the last post on this blog.

I lot has happened since my last post to this blog. Lots of good and a bit of bad.
This blog has covered the best part of my life. I miss the days of going out to arcades and playing games with friends. Staying out late with friends and just enjoying what life was giving me.
Somewhere down the line, I forgot that. The door slowly closed and I didn't even notice.
I see that closed door now, and it makes me mad that I let it close.
Live and learn I suppose. Working on fixing that.I am working on a lot of things.

Currently, I am working on getting out of the lowest point in my life.
It is hard, but I am fighting.
I never would have guessed that my life would get so hard. I never knew I could hurt so much. It hurts to even see that typed out on this monitor.
But I am fighting. I am tired of being where I am. I don't like it. I don't want it.
Where I was. That would be a more accurate description. I am making progress. I am not that person anymore.
I am living a nightmare, but I will not let it win. I will not let it get the best of me.
I still have things to be thankful for. I still have my family. I have, and will always have, their love and their support. I may be a broken mess, but they are standing right next to me. They are walking with me on this road. They are with me and ready to pick me up when I fall. They are ready and willing to help in any way possible.
There are times when it is so hard to fight. So hard to keep moving forward. And it is just so much easier to give up.  To just fall down and lay there. But my family won't let me. They are there. Helping me up. Tending to my wounds. Pointing me in the correct direction. Pushing me forward.
I couldn't ask for a better family.

Life is so incredibly hard.
I never thought it was easy, but I never thought that I would be where I am now.
Every day is a struggle. Every breath is restricted. Every step is like walking through quick sand.
Every bump on this road makes me fall apart.
But I am pushing through it.
WE are pushing through it. I am not alone on this road.
I can NOT forget that. No matter how hard it gets, I can not forget that I am not alone on this journey.
If I forget that, I will just fall back to where I was. I will not let that happen.
Not again.
Not ever.
This is so hard. But I am tired of losing.
I am tired of being stuck in that shell.

I may start a new blog down the road, but this blog is finished.
This part of my life is over.

Nobody may ever read this post.
And that is perfectly fine to me.
I am not looking for attention.
I am not looking for sympathy.
I just felt like I had to type this.
I needed to vent.
I needed to see it in front of me.

Goodbye friend.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Well Hello There

I don't update this often. I rarely even think about it.
Nothing much has gone new.
Been to Atlanta a few times for IBM classes, and I am actually going back to Atlanta tomorrow afternoon. I've also been to the IBM center in Palisades, NY. I'm actually going back to that center in December. Last time I went, I visited NYC twice. I got to eat the best calzone I have ever had in my life. No joke. Little Italy > *
I also got to play some Third Strike at China Town Fair Arcade. Was a fun trip.

Today marks four years with the love face.
She means the world to me.

Yesterday, some sort of big news.
Bought two things...
A 46" LCD HDTV and a PS3.
Well I suppose three things now that I think about it. I also ordered a HDMI cable from Cost me seven dollars shipped. Take that overpriced electronic stores.

Four years.
That's a presidential term.
Hey, that's almost like a reference to current affairs.

Oh yes, November 8th. That would be the move in date to an apartment.

Four years.
The same number of blades on a certain razor.

Four years goes by quick.
But when I sit here and think about it, so much has happened within that four year time frame. All of it good. It's actually quite surprising how much has happened in four years.

<3<3<3 to:
my love,
my other half,
my pillow hog

Sunday, May 18, 2008


Click car for make bigger than small?!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Something Different

Life is good right now.
For the first time I can say that life is good.
I have a career starting. I'm making some money.
Life is good.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Hello You

Well, here we are again. Months after my last post. I'm pretty bad about updating this thing. But I also don't really care.

I am back in Texas. I'm looking for a job. Sending resumes everywhere.
I now own a photo printer.
And NS papercrafts. >.>

I have a crap load of photos from my trip.
I still have to go through them all.
I have sorted them by area, but that is about it.
Just the thought of going through 500~ photos makes me steer away from it.
I should just do one area at a time. I need to get on that.

After I eventually go through the photos, I will post some of the better ones online.

Theresa is still a cute face.
And her engrish is getting much better.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

done for now

Finished editing my page.
Rearranged the bar to the right. I also updated some things. And made a new banner. Not a big fan of the font, but I can't remember the name of the font I wanted to use so I could download it. Oh well, good enough for me.

Also, new commenting system. Using bloggers commenting.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Well, well, well....

Working on editing the look of this blog. Why? Because I've wanted to for some time now and I have a lot of free time currently.
Will something actually come out of this? Possibly. I'm already working on editing the page, but if when it's all over and I don't like it, I'll just leave it as is. I'll change the banner though. Been wanting a new banner for a while now.


Saturday, October 27, 2007


How are you?
I am good. Thanks for asking.
Got the Distinguished Student Award.
Professors say that I need to come back.
Had a great dinner.
I'm going to Japan on Tuesday.
Yes, this Tuesday.
And yes, Japan.
Should be great.
Going to visit my love.
Did I mention that I love her?
Well I do.

Going to do some packing tomorrow. Mostly clothes which will be the first suitcase. I will pack the second suitcase a bit as well. And finish it on Monday. Going to go get some last minute items tomorrow and Monday as well.

When will I be back?
Good question internets.
I will be back in January.

Sure, I'll try and remember to post some while I am away.

Well, I'll catch you later internets. I am tired from today and am going to bed. Long day of packing/moving crap/buying things tomorrow.

Keep it real.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

QuakeCon and Projekt Revolution

QuakeCon is this weekend. A gang of us went to QuakeCon on
Thursday. Free stuff is great. Got about three shirts and played
on an awesome new mouse logitech is releasing. Logitech is also
releasing a new keyboard. Looks pretty awesome. Played a beta of

Left 4 Dead.
This game is the BEST zombie game I have ever played in my life.
Luis, Robert, Manny, and myself played it together. It was way too
much fun. I can not wait for this game to come out. The way
zombies swarm you in this game is INTENSE! Think, 28 Weeks
Later/New Dawn of The Dead type zombie. They SPRINT at you. And the
animations that they us for them is just PERFECT. I can't even
begin to explain to you how great this game is.
Go there.

I went to the Projekt Revolution concert today in Dallas.
Projekt Revolution is some tour that Linkin Park does with a bunch
of other bands. I don't actually like Linkin Park and had no plans
on attending this thing, BUT, Placebo and MSI were going to play
it. So for this fact alone, I bought a ticket some time ago.
MSI was ending the acts on the second stage so I didn't show up to
the concert until around 2:30 or so. I really don't care about the
other bands, because they suck. Bunch of emo suck bands.
Anyways, I worked my way through the parking lot and to the
entrance. Before the entrance, Subaru had a black WRX parked there
looking sexy. Went in, found the way to the second stage and
walked around the vendors area.
After walking around for a bit, I started working my way for the
second stage to see MSI. Got pretty close to the stage and stood
there waiting.
When the drummer came out, the crowd went nuts.
MSI live is too good. I really, really, really enjoyed watching
them. Jimmy feeds off the crowd and just explodes on stage. He
also mocks people, which is great.He made fun of emo bands and Hot
Topic. He also made fun of Warped Tour. That made me laugh pretty
After one song, he demanded a sacrifice for the gods. The
sacrifice that he wanted was a cigarette. After he said that, a
million(yes, literally a million,I counted) packs of cigarettes
were thrown on stage. He caught a box of Newports and took one
out. He then said, "Well, Zeus isn't going to light this thing for
me..." and then a million lighters were thrown on stage.
At another point, Jimmy stated, "I want to be the audience...I
NEVER get to be the audience...Not this time though. I called it
this morning. Like, six in the morning, you guys weren't even here
yet!" Jimmy then jumped into the crowd and started cheering and
jumping up and down. After a little bit of messing around he said,
"...I don't know what you guys are looking at, I'm one of you guys
now." and then started singing the next song while in the crowd.
It was greatness.
During the end of one song, the bassist took off her bass and
jumped into the crowd and started crowd surfing. It was intense.
After their amazing set, they started signing autographs.
Literally right after they finished playing. The drummer and the
bassist left the stage for a bit and Jimmy and the guitarist
started posing for pictures and signing autographs/talking to the
fans. I started to work my way towards him through the weeds that
were people, and then the security guards started asking him to
move away from the stage so they could tear it down. So they moved
to the right of the stage towards a tent while signing autographs
and taking pictures with all their fans. Nothing beats a band that
gives as much as they can back to the fans.
When I eventually got to Jimmy, I was going to have him sign my
ticket. As soon as he noticed my shirt he said, "Woah! I love that
shirt!" The shirt I was wearing is my The Return of The Living
Dead movie cover shirt. So instead, I asked him to sign my shirt
instead. He crossed out Dead with his sharpie and wrote "Urine"
under it. It was epic. After he did that, he said "It's perfect!"
After getting my shirt signed, I worked my way towards the
concession stands. It was DAMN hot and I needed something cold so
I didn't die. Standing within a group of people in 100 degree
weather with no shade = death. I ended up paying eight bucks for a
slush. =(
It wasn't even that good of a slush.
After getting my $lu$h, I headed towards a merch vendor to buy a
Placebo shirt. I missed out on getting a shirt last concert and I
didn't want that to happen again. I ended up getting a Placebo
North America tour shirt and their newest CD which has three live
tracks on it.
After buying my stuff, I worked my ways toward the mainstage.
Julien K had just finished their set after I bought my slush.
Julien K has the guitarist and some other member of Orgy in it.
It's like the new Orgy I guess. They are supposed to be leaning
more towards dance music with this band. Anyways, I got to my seat
just as Placebo was about to go on.
Placebo is greatness.
Their set list was:
Pure Morning
Because I Want You
Every You Every Me - while singing the "Best lay I ever had" line,
he pointed to Stefan. That amused me.
Nancy Boy
Special K - which they dedicated to Julien K =p
Taste In Men
Bitter End

As I stated above, it was greatness.

After their set, they were going to do a signing. So after they
finished, I rushed over to the Virgin tent and go in the mass of
people that had accumulated so far.
Got some Placebo stickers and a poster. Got them to sign the
poster and the cover of the CD I had just bought.
After getting my stuff signed, I left.
Walked to my car, turned on the AC and blasted it at my face. The
temperature in my car when I started it was 110. That's
ONE-HUNDRED AND TEN DEGREES. After sitting for a while, I left.
Got a little bit out of downtown Dallas and stopped at a gas
station. Bought a liter of water and commenced to pleasing my
Drove home. Took a nap. Wrote this post.

I love concerts.
I love Aesa.
I love going to concerts with Aesa.
Wish she could have gone to this one with me.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


So I neglect this blog. Oh well. Nothing I can do about.
well, besides that...

Lots of random stuff has happened since my last post.

Manny moved back up here, so it should be more interesting again.

I'll be trying my best to go to Evolution 2007 this year with my fighting game friends.

My love visited me for about a month and then we flew back to Buffalo together.
It was great.
That's it.
I love her.
There are so many things I wish I could do. So many things I want to do. And all of those revolve around her. I can't stop thinking about her. How stupid do I sound saying corny stuff like this? Who cares, It's how I feel. I can't help but smile when I'm around her. I can't help but smile when I think of her. Anytime something interesting happens to me, I want to tell her. Too bad when I talk to her on the phone I usually forget what I wanted to tell her. =p

Last semester of school. It's looking to be tough. I'll attempt to try my best though. And even when I graduate, I still have to get a job. But with that job, good stuff will follow.

I've started watching Beck monday I believe it was. Why? Because it's been on my computer and I've yet to watch...along with tons of other stuff.
So far, it's been great. I've actually been glued to the show. It's 26 episodes long and I'm on episode 20 already. I started watching it and I just couldn't stop. I'm a sucker for good "love" stories, what can I say? Sure, there is more to it than the love story, there is the whole "I'm a band trying to make it" thing, and that's good too.
Well, minor update. I finished beck before I ended up posting this. lawlz?
Good stuff.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn...Is just to Love, and be Loved in return."

God I miss her.I missed her when I looked away.